| (no subject) |
[Feb. 24th, 2006|09:32 am] |
i am not the person that i want to be. i try too hard. i've always tried too hard to be myself and i still haven't found out how to do that. i'm going to stop trying.
i'm not good with words
i'm not good at explaining myself
i'm not a conversationalist only when i'm in the mood
i don't know how you get better at all these things. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 6th, 2006|01:01 am] |
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oh what the fuck am I doing. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 25th, 2006|06:09 pm] |
I feel like i've been knocked off my feet.
I feel like i've been sick for weeks. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 2nd, 2006|11:36 am] |
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And some how i got sick. |
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| The loser wins again. |
[Dec. 22nd, 2005|01:30 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  guilty | ] |
I don't know what the fuck was said but apparently it was bad. I'm an idiot for not even caring enough to ask. When i got that phone call almost four months ago i don't know where my brain was. Some people will just make it a point to point out all of your mistakes and all of your flaws. Fuck those people. It's not like i had bad intensions. You never intend to hurt anyone. From a relationship leaves a winner and a loser because it's very much a game. I am the loser. No one ever forgets who the loser and winner was. I hate losing relationships with people. That's one of the things I hate the most. Being on bad terms is a bitch. I have never been afraid to call someone up who i haven't seen in a long time. A good friend told me he's not good at calling someone he hasn't talked to in a long time because he figured if they want to talk to me then they would. I guess I am that other half. I am the person that calls. I keep calling. Sometimes i give up when that person has changed and it's evident. This is the one things that's been really bugging me lately. My so called friend and current boyfriend of this girl rubbing it in my face isn't really helping but i guess he enjoys making me feel like an ass. Ahhh the simple pleasures in life making: making people feel like shit. "You have a reputation to maintain i understand." I'm not worried about my rep i really didn't do anything. I was cutting it closely and apparently there was blood shed. My God i don't know. I'd like to get the fuck out of this town pretty goddam soon. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 21st, 2005|02:04 am] |
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when iiiiiiiii watch you wanna do you right where you're standing...YEAH! |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 14th, 2005|02:07 pm] |
this is the first day of my life.
i'm glad i didn't die before i met you. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 1st, 2005|02:55 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  indescribable | ] |
| [ | music |
| | say anything-"wow i can get sexual" | ] |
I called her on the phone and she touched herself
She touched herself
She touched herself
called her on the phone and she touched herself
I laughed myself to sleep
I don't know what I want
I don't know what I want
I don't know what I want
"say anything"
I can't really be serious about anything
I never thought I'd say I'm immature
I'm immature
I can't believe I never saw myself before
I didn't know I could be that guy
Apparently I am
and you're not picking up your phone
when I call.
I don't know what I want
I don't know what I want
I don't know what I want
Sometimes I just got to know when
and I guess my chance is over
but Oh well
I have these new headphones that i like a lot. They go really far into your ear but the sound is amazing. You can feel the bass in your headphones.
Today I hung out with Nate Dogg, Kjude, and Bamber. It was a lot of fun. I mean i've tried to tell people about why the lady at the Pennsyvania Ave. Diner was going to call the cops but i'm not a very good storyteller. So i'm just gonna say "you had to be there."
I was kind of depressed today but then after hanging out with Kjude and Nate dogg it made me happy..oh and amber brown. I miss my friends and just hanging out. It seems like i don't hang out anymore but hopefully i can get back into the hanging out scene. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 28th, 2005|02:35 pm] |
You do something to me that I can't explain
So would I be out of line to say
If I said
I miss you. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 17th, 2005|12:13 am] |
It's going to be a cold winter.
In more ways than one.
Burr. :o/ |
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| For Real bee. |
[Nov. 9th, 2005|06:02 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  crushed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | 50 cent | ] |
Livejournal has been revamped.
Sometimes I laugh I don't really know why.
I think everything is going to be really sweet.
Something bothered me a lot today. (Dissapointing)
Please Come Out of the Closet...I mean to the Battle of the Bands.
6PM Trinity Church Off Dunkel Rd.
Bands Playing:
My Simple Existence.
Dead Day Of October.
And...dun dun dun.
I.E.G.
www.myspace.com/ieatglue
www.ieatglue.net |
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| fuck yo couch |
[Oct. 30th, 2005|11:01 pm] |
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i have a paper due and it was assigned in august and i'm just now doing it in october. wow it's gonna be a fun night filled with cigarettes and head aches. |
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| fuck |
[Oct. 28th, 2005|10:56 am] |
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i don't know if what i did was right...and i'm not talking about last night because that was a good time. |
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| just a calender day. |
[Oct. 24th, 2005|10:50 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  aggravated | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the rocket summer | ] |
some things seem so close but still so far away.
i hate everything about my ways but you tell me i'm okay.
you're my friend no matter what
you will never leave me.
thank you.
i love when you hear a song that just relates to you. You get chills, and when that singer hits that one note or says that one line that just makes your spine tingle. my mom refers to that tingle as "angel wings." i would like to think they are angel wings. One night i found myself driving around listening to rise against and decided to go visit robbie at hagadorn rd. Then a song came on and chorus was, "There's no place that i'd rather be than right here right now." and that just said it for me and my spine tingled multiple times and i'd like to believe that it was robbie there with me.
i am so sad for a certain person but there is nothing i can do for them. Maybe that's just who they are or who they have come to be? sometimes things are just out of your control and i'm sorry i let things get that way.
i don't feel any older...
My dad suggested to my mom that she get me a stripper. hahaha my dad knows me much better than my mother.
my mom doesn't know me it seems or she's either trying really hard to the point where she isn't thinking about what she's doing. Today she tried to give me my Grandpa's watch. That almost makes me mad that she thinks i would take that. It almost makes me feel like she didn't know what else to do with my grandfather's watch so she's just gonna give it to me. I think my mom should just not get me anything at all. She bought me a jacket from the gap. It's really nice but it's not really something i would wear...but i'm wearing it right now.
just a calender day.
Kevin judy let me borrow something today and it meant a lot to me. :o)
thank you. |
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| Bitches. |
[Oct. 18th, 2005|12:23 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  apathetic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | transplants | ] |
sometimes it feels like i can't do anything unless i'm listening to music.
my cd player's batteries are dead and i'm hoping that just maybe some how if i wait the batteries will rise from the dead so i can listen to my music for just a little bit longer.
I get so nervous sometimes.
it's like i'm so unsure of myself i'm unsure to speak.
maybe it was the fact that i didn't speak to anyone all day.
today was just a wierd day.
I studied and got an 81%
I don't like college anymore.
I wish I could just be successful without having to go to school.
I will keep going to school because i have to and maybe after a while i won't notice that it's a pain in the ass.
I have a birthday coming up.
I was thinking about having a little get together on the 1st of november.
But i don't know.
everyone's invited because i don't want anyone to feel left out.
Should it be a costume party even though it's the day after halloween...
Probably so because dressing up is way more fun.
I'm just in a mood where i have a lot to do but i don't feel like doing it but it will get done at one point or another.
I had a rough draft that i thought was due tomorrow but it's really due on thursday and that is very exciting because now i don't have to do it just yet but soon. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 5th, 2005|12:55 pm] |
Here i am
laid there at the end of my rope
i've lost all hope
so long
Molly conelly just broke up with me over the revealing nature of this song
you god damn kids had best be gracious with the merch money you spend
cuz for you i won't ever have rough sex with molly conelly again
This is such a good song.
I noticed this girl in my math class. She is so distracted by everything. She always does everything really fast. She never takes a moment for herself. Why is she in such a hurry? Maybe i'm just slow as hell. She got a 103 on her Test. I only got a 96. She always drinks an iced caramel Marvel From the BGC. She reminds me of a girl that i know. There are three ways to classify personalities. 1)Like all others 2)Like some others 3)Like no others. She is like some others.
I like the Oedipal Complex That's where the child wishes to marry the mother but there are feelings of guilt/fear that rival parent (dad) will punish them.
College is so interesting.
Other than writing.
I don't really like it.
The teacher is not very fun.
She never laughs at my jokes.
I ran into Ben Keeler in the library. It's always weird to see Ben Keeler. |
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| plans. |
[Oct. 2nd, 2005|09:48 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  tired | ] |
you'll be loved like you never have known and the memories of me will seem more like bad dreams just a series of blurs like i never occured someday you will be loved |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 21st, 2005|02:15 pm] |
First of all Happy Birthday Kevin Judy! I love you and I hope that you are a having a very special day because you of all people deserve to have a great day on your birthday.
I am not emo anymore I just don't care about the little things.
It takes a woman an average of 10-20 minutes to orgasm
It takes a man an average of 4 minutes to orgasm
I think that's funny.
I decided to quit by making myself sick and that is my plan now and I hope that it works. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 13th, 2005|02:01 pm] |
www.9rules.com/whitespace
“My Space: Is ‘Ghetto’ a design choice?”
Written by Paul Scrivens, CEO, 9rules, INC.
I am going to read this article because I thought his point was funny. He believes that so many people are on my space not because it’s easy but only because everyone else is using it.
From the home page I can tell that the website he created is very much like my space. This is just a website that he’s doing for himself.
“He doesn't think of himself as a designer, but rather a connoisseur of good design. Paul discusses design because he can.”
http://www.fullcirc.com/community/communitywhatwhy.htm
“What is a virtual community and why would anyone ever need one?”
Written by Sue Boetcher, Heather Duggan, Nancy White
I am going to read this article because it gives a lot of good details and Ideas as to why someone would want to have a virtual community in the first place. The site had similar ideas to mine but even more in depth with more details.
The home page described that they were an informative website looking to connect people through the internet. The site is published by Nancy White.
“We focus on online and offline strategies with a passionate interest in online community and collaboration.”
http://www.rider.edu/~suler/psycyber/therapygroup.html
“Online Therapy and Support Groups”
John Suler's The Psychology of Cyberspace
I am not going to read about this because it mostly just has to do with the experimentation of the mentally ill and online therapy groups and how they are able to help. This is a sample from a book The Psychology of Cyberspace.
“Mental health professionals are beginning to experiment with online therapy groups, and some well-known self-help groups have already extended into cyberspace.”
http://opensource.mit.edu/papers/zhang.pdf
“Peripheral Members in Online Communities”
Written by Wei Zhang, John Storck
Boston University
I am not going to read this because it’s a study on the effects of online communities and conventional communities. I really can’t understand that much of what they are talking about.
“In the last several years, numerous online communities burgeon on the internet. We discuss the differences between online communities and conventional communities of practice.”
http://www.fullcirc.com/community/networkscatalystscommunity.htm
Written by Nancy White
“Networks, Groups and Catalysts:
The Sweet Spot for Forming Online Learning Communities”
The article contained 2 case studies. I would not be interested in reading the article because it talks more about how to learn about online communities as far as where to find the communities and information on them.
“Existing formal and informal networks offer a "container" that can allow the emergence and growth of more focused groups. They provide some level of connection and awareness of between people with some interest in common.”
http://www.firstmonday.org/issues/issue9_12/raynes/#r5
“Pulling Sense out of today’s informational Chaos”
Written by Kate Raynes–Goldie
I am not going to read this article because it didn’t really provide me with all the information that I was looking for it was more about the writer’s opinion. The writer is an activists and internet researcher.
“In conclusion, LiveJournal represents a new method of understanding the world through knowledge creation and sharing — a need that is increasingly unfulfilled by current systems, especially in the minds of the younger generation who have been brought up in a post–modern world filled with too much information.”
http://xpress.sfsu.edu/archives/tech/000479.html
“A Cyberspace of their own”
Written by Michele Foley
The article was mostly about how to meet people and how communities bring people closer together and allows them to meet new people. I would not like to read this because there it too much information that I do not need to know or already know.
“With 27,629 students rushing to get somewhere else when their classes end, how can anyone expect to meet, let alone feel like they are part of a larger college community?” |
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